up in the stars

have you ever loved someone so much it hurt? i'm feeling that love right now, but the people i feel it for are people i've never even met.

i have been contemplating life a lot lately. the other night, i laid out under the stars for hours and just thought. i couldn't sleep, my mind was racing. it was a good time, i really needed the thinking. i thought a lot about the children i will one day have, the direction my life is going vs where i want it to go. if it weren't for those sweet, innocent spirits, there is no doubt in my mind that i would spend the rest of my life partying and playing. but i know that's not what i really want.

no matter what my life brings, i am determined to be the best mother my children could wish for. it's the least i can do, right?

i can't say i'm even close to being prepared for that time....heck, i'm not even dating anyone! but just knowing the opportunities that await me, makes me want to be a better person each and every day....for them.